CM Punk, Roman Reigns and the story of two press conferences
Sequel to WWE Showdown at the castle On Saturday, the company held a press conference at which its chief executive, Paul “Triple H” Levesque, was joined by a number of artists. Undisputed champion Roman Reigns, who spoke first, appeared in character for about 90 seconds, delivering his remarks to a group of upbeat and energetic reporters. Here are Reigns’ comments in full:
“I think I’d rather you do what they wouldn’t do.” Recognize me!”
Fun! Let’s juxtapose.
Sequel to AEW All out event on Sunday, the company held a press conference at which its chief executive, Tony Khan, was joined by a number of artists. Undisputed champion CM Punk spoke first, who appeared out of character for over 20 minutes, delivering his remarks to a confused and at times frightened group of reporters, including several whom he personally intimidated. Here is an abridged selection of Punk’s comments:
“When I finally had to counter-sue [Ring of Honor wrestler and former friend Colt Cabana], by discovery, we discovered that he shared a bank account with his mother. That’s a fact. … The fact that I have to get up here and [admonish journalists] in 2022 is fucking embarrassing. And if you’re all at fault, fuck off! If not, I apologize. But what in the world did I do to deserve a fucking empty-headed motherfucker like “hangman” Adam Page to go on national television and go into business for himself – for what ? What did I do? …I’m trying to run a goddamn business. … [Cabana] shares a bank account with his mother, who tells you everything you need to know about the type of character he is. … I’m sorry if I’m a fucking little snippy, I’m hurt and I’m old and I’m fucking tired and I work with fucking children. This [baked good] is from Mindy’s Bakery, by the way. It’s a great place in Chicago. If you like pastries and pastries, I recommend you to go there. However, they are closed on Mondays and Tuesdays. … [Internet gossip] really pisses me off. You walk on your own dick. … I wear Danhausen’s boots, it’s a true story. … I had a real problem with shoes, I tried to figure out what to wear, and this is real life. …Fuck Sidney Crosby. … Contrary to popular belief, I’m a very nice guy. Thanks.”